Written before the guilt set in

She’s kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and you want to kiss her back, not physically, since you’re already doing that, but emotionally… romantically… And all night you’ve been trying to convince yourself that there’s no one else, but you feel bad because you know that actually there sort of is. But this other person doesn’t call you out of the blue the way this girl you’re kissing right now would love to. This other person doesn’t initiate romantic gestures within the storm of everyday living like the girl youre kissing right now would. Someone else only gives you the shallow breaths of oxygen you need instead of the deep gulps of air that you desire, while this girl is only is getting half of you right now. And like a switch… call it the last Patron shot… you’re kissing her back, as if healed. She notices, and she digs in deeper. And even though you’re not in love, your head is spinning and it’s exactly where it should be right now:
in the moment.